POOR MUGABE AND HIS BLUE-EYED BOY ARTHUR!!!
Securocrats
MDC-T secretary-general Tendai Biti reported
after the meeting that the summit had“underscored the obligation of our
security chiefs to respect the constitution and issued a statement complying
with Article 208 of the new constitution which speaks to the neutrality of our
security forces, that they cannot be active members of any political party and
that they will respect, salute and obey any legitimate constitutional order”.
Not exactly what the Herald has been telling us in its damage control exercise!
Poor King Arthur
Observers in Maputo were full of praise for the
man from Wales. He dazzled the meeting with his magisterial command of the
issues. When the MDC-T officials emerged they were generous in their praise.
And poor King Arthur was confined to the leader pages of the local Izvestia,
which sadly nobody reads! Some went on to call him a village idiot and those
who were discrete called him a political dwarf with delusions of eloquence. The
man might know one or two things about robots, but when it comes to politics,
certainly, the man is still to produce something someone can take home.
Chirruping recruits
Meanwhile, we were shocked to see police
recruits openly declaring their allegiance to Mugabe. They wished him a
“resounding success” in the forthcoming elections. “We celebrate your life and leadership as you
are the practical definition of a revolutionary cadre,” they chirruped. “Your
call for Pan-Africanism should invigorate other African leaders to be united
and support each other …” This was a far cry from Maputo where heads of state
demonstrated impatience with Mugabe’s blandishments. And are any of those
present at Morris Depot aware of how many votes the Zanu PF-supported PAC got
in the 1994 South African election? It was the smallest amount for any party.
There followed a funny little drama, we were told, in which two fighters
wearing British and US outfits engaged in combat with a third party purporting
to be Mugabe. He put up a spirited fight before a sympathiser, Russia, came in
to assist and vanquish the Westerners. After the victory “children” were served
with milk representing the milk and honey of Mugabe’s rule. No, seriously!
Ushers wore Zanu PF regalia. Observers say that senior officers could be seen
waving their fists in the air as the recruits pledged their allegiance to their
commander.
Readers’feedback
The newly launched Southern Eye has been
carrying an interesting range of letters in its feedback column. On Monday a
correspondent made the obvious point in response to a story titled Hell for
gays if Zanu PF wins. This followed Zanu PF’s promise of new persecutions if it
wins the election.
The correspondent said: “Mugabe should
concentrate more on uplifting Zimbabweans suffering from the harsh economic
conditions which he and his party gave rise to and deal with the massive
corruption in the Zimbabwean economy.” This is all true, but we shouldn’t
forget just how much Zanu PF and its allies among the Biblical bigots just love
persecuting people.
Dysfunctional party
The Sunday Mail carried a story last weekend
about a snake handler who had passed his skill down through the generations.
His father was a snake handler as was his grandfather. His experience had made
him the local expert on the reptiles, the story said. He was confident his understudies
would be successful. “I know that they will do well,” he said. “Abraham is a
natural leader while Amos is a fearless handler who can tackle and subdue the
most aggressive of snakes.” How interesting. Here is a family that has put in
place a succession plan; a simple family that has taken steps to secure its
future. But what do we have at the national level? A dysfunctional political
party that can’t even take the first tentative steps towards passing on the
baton. However, let’s be fair. We do know of some snakes in the grass which
carry a particularly lethal poison, but do not belong to the same family.
Trojan horses
We were interested to see a picture in the
Sunday Mail of Zimpapers group chief executive Justin Mutasa chatting with Dr
Nyaradzo Mtizira at the launch of his book, The Regime Change Agenda — Focus on
Zimbabwe, authored by the Botswana-based medical practitioner. The book focuses
on the country’s socio-economic revolution and the West’s “rabid attempt to
protect its interests in resource-rich Zimbabwe through local Trojan horses”.
Strange, we haven’t heard of the doctor or his interest in regime change. And
we thought the Trojan horse was Greek! He seems to have come out of the
election woodwork. Here is another expatriate who prefers the comfortable life
abroad to the growing dereliction at home wrought by his friends in Zanu PF. We
wonder if he knows Reason who just can’t tear himself away from Australia!
Perennial losers
Did we hear Mugabe saying some years ago he
would not appoint as ministers individuals who had not been elected to
parliament? Well, he said it again, if Muckraker heard right, just the other
day. That would be a good question to ask the president at a press conference:
“Do you recall the undertaking you made…?” Some of the perennial losers that
have expressed an interest in taking part in the election,” Southern Eye
reports, “are Sikhanyiso Ndlovu, Absolom Sikhosana and Joseph Tshuma.” Our
question is: how many times are they allowed to lose and still be taken seriously?
Sikhanyiso: that one’s for you.
A note to Huni
And a note to our friend Munyaradzi Huni. If
Sir Ketumile Masire carried a knighthood, then his wife would be Lady Masire
and not Mrs Masire. And while it is good to see Botswana and Zimbabwe getting
on so well, have we forgotten so quickly how fraught relations were when
Tsvangirai was staying in Gaborone in 2008? And then wasn’t there something
about a transmitter relay station at Fransistown? Has that gone away? While it
is not the function of journalists to stir things up, they shouldn’t at least
be so naïve. We are sure our Botswana expert Cde Caesar agrees with us on this!
Ankomah’s naïvety
Another example of naïvety was evident from
Baffour Ankomah, editor of New African, a mouthpiece for Mugabe. Andrew Young,
the magazine reported, “had confirmed the White House’s official remorse to
President Mugabe admitting that the US had been wrong in supporting Britain in
the dispute with Britain over land reform”.Really? It is true that Young has in
the past adopted a pro-Zanu PF position in his dealing with the Zimbabwe
authorities. But it is extremely doubtful that he would have expressed the
White House’s “official remorse”. In fact, we have a pretty good idea where
that came from. The same official who facilitated Young’s visit.
Matter of fact
Last week we carried a snippet claiming the
Hartley Platinum Mine road just outside Chegutu cost US$15 million to
construct. The acting chair of Zimplats Holdings Ltd, the Zimplats parent
company, said he would like to set the record straight“for the benefit of
numerous faithful readers of the popular Muckraker column”.The Ngezi-Mhondoro
highway is in fact 77km long and the cost was US$19 million in 2001, he said.
We stand corrected.
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